Out of the Darkness
by sordidicons
Summary: Willow is having nightmares


Out of the Darkness   
By: Ally   
Rating: PG   
Disclaimer: All characters belong to the all mighty Joss, and the other powers that be. Lyrics belong to Sarah McLachlan.   
Summary: Willow has to pick up the pieces of her life.   
  
**********************************   
  
_Though my soul may set in darkness,   
It will rise in perfect light;   
I have loved the stars too fondly   
To be fearful of the night.   
-Sarah Williams_   
  
  
"Okay, as soon as I give the signal everyone comes in stakes swinging. Got it?" Buffy went over the plan once again. Five heads nodded in unison, as she looked at each member of the group. "Okay, get in position."   
  
Angel and Willow went around the side of the decrepit building to take up their positions on the east side. Xander and Oz took up positions on the west Side. Cordelia and Giles went to their places at the rear of the building. Buffy was left alone at the front of the building. Taking a deep breath, she drew two stakes out of her coat, and kicked in the door.   
  
"Maid Service!" Buffy quipped as the dozen or so vampires turned to look at the unwelcome intruder. Then they attacked.   
  
Buffy took out the first 3 vampires with relative ease. Bit didn't take long though for her to be surrounded.   
  
"NOW!!!!" Buffy screamed.   
  
Hearing the signal the rest of the slayerettes charged into the building, surrounding the vampires, and spraying them with holy water. Angel ran and attacked a group of vampires, which had broken off from the main group, being careful to avoid the streams of burning liquid. He quickly dispatched them, and then turned his attention to the group still surrounding Buffy.   
  
He didn't even see the small vampire, until it was too late. Angel felt an immense burning sensation in his chest; he looked down to see the piece of jagged wood protruding from his chest. Then he was gone, his ashes fluttering slowly to the ground.   
  
"ANGEL! NO!" Willow screamed and violently sat up in her bed. Her small body was covered in sweat, making her thin white nightgown cling to her skin. Her amber hair hung limply around her face, small strands plastered against her face. Willow's breathes came in small rapid gasps as her heart thudded painfully in her chest. A shudder racked her body, and then her face crumbled into one heart-wrenching sob.   
  
It had been 3 months since Angel had died in the attack on the nest of vampires. Two months in which Willow had not been able to sleep without reliving his death in vibrant Technicolor detail. Each night she would awaken, screaming his name, and bathed in sweat. Of all of the slayerettes, including Buffy, she had taken his death the hardest. True, Buffy had grieved almost non-stop for almost a month and was suicidal at some points. But over the last two months she had been getting better. She could now talk about Angel without breaking into sobs, and she was moving on with her life. Willow on the other hand had shut down completely. Whenever anyone even mentioned his name her stomach would do flip-flops and she would cry uncontrollably. She had begun loosing weight, and her skin became even paler, and she constantly had dark circles under her eyes from the lack of sleep and crying. These circles combined with the weight loss gave her a ghostly frail appearance.   
  
Everyone had noticed the change in her appearance, but when approached Willow would just blame it on stress from school, and that she had a cold, or something to that effect. She couldn't let them know the real reason, that since Angel had died she felt that she too was dead. Her heart had become cold and empty. She knew that they wouldn't understand that Angel had been more than just a friend to her. He had been her everything.   
  
After Willow had found out about Cordelia and Xander she had been devastated. She thought that she didn't have a friend left in the world. Then he had come over to ask her about a spell, and they had ended up talking for hours in her living room. They had talked about everything, and somehow it had made her feel better. In truth, Angel was the one who helped Willow get over Xander, not Oz. After that night she and Angel had a close bond, and they would spend one night a week at least talking and joking, or just watching a movie. Throughout those months she had felt herself growing closer to Angel, and then one night she realized that she felt more than friendship for him. She had fallen in love with him. And to her surprise, he returned her feelings.   
  
They carried on their secret affair for almost four months, and had agreed the night of the raid that they would tell everyone. And then he had died, and she might as well have too.   
  
As Willow's sobs turned into hiccups she slowly fell into a deep sleep.   
  
"Willow?"   
  
Willow could hear her name being called through the banks of fog, which surrounded her. It was dark, and she felt disoriented, like the voice was all around her. She turned around in circles, trying to pinpoint the voice.   
  
"Willow? Can you hear me?"   
  
"Yes! Who are you, where are you? I can't…"   
  
"I'm right here Willow." A warm pulsing glow formed in front of her, and expanded around and over her. It felt as if someone was wrapping her in a fuzzy blanket right out of the dryer. And then a human form began to appear before her, it was bright and transparent at first, but as it became more solid her eyes went wide.   
  
"Angel!" Willow flung herself into his glowing arms. She began to sob, her words coming out in choking sobs. "I…though…I…had…oh…god!"   
  
"Shhh, it's okay." Angel rubbed her small back trying to calm her. "It's okay, I'm here."   
  
"But you're not! I saw you, you died!" Willow pulled back from his embrace slightly. "How can this be possible" She sniffled.   
  
"My soul, when my body died, it went to heaven. Heaven! Who would have thought with all the horror I've caused." Angel smiled at her.   
  
"Does this mean that I'm…dead?" Willow's eyes went wide with the idea, and she could feel her legs become weak under her.   
  
"No, well not yet at least. That's why I'm here. You have to move on Willow, stop grieving over me, and get on with your life. There's nothing you could have done to stop my death, and as you can see I'm fine. If you keep going like you are now you will die, and I don't think I could forgive myself for being the one who killed you." He looked deep into her eyes, making sure she understood what he was saying. She sniffled once, and then silently shook her head in agreement. "You have to go back now."   
  
A tear rolled down her cheek as he hugged her tightly. She didn't want to lose him again, but she knew that this was how it had to be. Finally he let her go.   
  
"I love you Willow."   
  
"I love you too Angel, always."   
  
"Always."   
  
Willow's eyes fluttered open and she found herself staring at her reflection in the mirror on her closet door. Remembering what Angel had told her, she got up and out of bed and made her way to the kitchen to eat breakfast. As if by instinct she turned on the radio, and the music filled the small room.   
  
_"You were pulled from the wreckage   
Of your silent reverie   
You're in the arms of the angel   
May you find, some comfort here."_   
  
A small smile crept over Willows face. For the first time in three months she felt good, and she began to pick up the pieces of her life. Because she knew that he was watching her, and that she'd never be alone again.   



End file.
